A New Day, A New Decade
“Welcome to the fourth floor,” said my friend, Nana, to me via Facebook messenger today. Of course, Facebook must have told him today is my birthday, and maybe it even told him that it’s a big one? Whatever the case, I like how Nana worded it.
Hello from the Fourth Floor!
Birthdays are a great time to reflect on the preceding year, but big birthdays are really fun, because you have a whole decade to reflect on, to make sense of, and ultimately to fit into the larger narrative of the life you are continuing to live. Lucky for me I have a blog, so I will indulge in this opportunity to do that here. Luckily for you, you can choose to read it or not read it, and I will never know either way.
I don’t want to talk about specific events that happened in my life throughout my 30s, because like all human beings who lived on planet earth from the years 2015-2025, I encountered all sorts of chaos over the past 10 years. Instead, I want to highlight ten things that I’m taking with me from my 30s: some are lessons, some are influences, some are habits, and some just… are. But they are all positive, so let’s call them “The Good Ten™️”. Here they are, in no particular order:
The Good Ten™️
1) Emily P. Freeman
Without knowing it, Emily P. Freeman has walked with me throughout my mid-upper 30s — not personally, but through her podcast, her books, and the things she shares on Instagram. For example, yesterday, as I was processing the end of one decade and start of another, I knew Emily would have a list of thought provoking questions for such an occasion, and indeed she did. I read the transcript of episode 272 of her podcast, “The Next Right Thing”, and she suggested naming what is your posture toward your birthday this year. You can read or listen to the episode to get her thoughts on it, so I will spare you with my clumsy re-telling, and I’ll just say that my the posture I want to take toward my birthday this year, and perhaps toward this whole year of my life is: grounded, peaceful, and confident.
2) Production
Ten years ago today, I didn’t know how to play the guitar. Four years ago, I didn’t know what a compressor is (at least, not really). And now, almost all the income I’m bringing in revolves around these skills I’ve gained as a musician and also as an audio engineer/producer. I do technical production and audio/video editing for two podcasts, “Zealots at the Gate”, and “The Whole Person Revolution”, and I am a producer/engineer at Golden Bear Studio, here in Des Moines. Through the podcasts, I have gotten to meet inspiring people — like Beth Moore, Russell Moore, Elizabeth Oldfield, and I even got to edit an episode with Francis Collins! I love that when editing these episodes, I get to immerse myself in such interesting and profound conversations. And through my work at Golden Bear, I get to use all parts of my musical brain: theory, songwriting, vocal pedagogy, etc, as I’m helping artists bring their songs to life. Learning these new skills was definitely a top highlight of my 30s!
3) Following Your Conscience
This one is simple, but also, it’s not. I’ll spare you any definitions of terms I feel ill-equipped to provide, and just say that the principle of following one’s conscience has been the most formative principle of my 30s. Following my conscience led me to become a vegetarian nine years ago. It led me to strongly oppose Donald Trump and the Christian endorsement of his rhetoric and policies — for which I paid dearly. I can name opportunities, connections, and even friendships I’ve lost because I chose to follow my conscience rather than go along with peoples’ expectations of me. In my 20s, I tended to choose the opposite, and I’m really glad I made that shift over the course of my 30s. It’s been a costly shift, but it’s been worth it.
4) Being Part of a Team
The biggest drawback to being a solo artist is how lonely it can be. I love having creative control over all my music, and I love how flexible my schedule is as I’m hobbling together four different part-time jobs. But ultimately, I’m alone a lot of the time. This has made the times when I get to be a part of a team feel incredibly life-giving. The best example of this has been my experience working as the worship director at The Gateway Church. My experience at Gateway has been that each team member is treated as an equal, and that the expectation is each person will share their honest opinion — even if it is in disagreement with someone else on the team. This can feel messy, and if you’ve been on a team that has unhealthy dynamics (who hasn’t?), it can feel scary when people don’t agree — like it’s a threat to the very existence of the team. It is very hard to keep the individuality of people in balance with a collective group identity; Gateway is not perfect and it does not have all the answers, but so far, I have been encouraged by how this team threads that needle.
This was the one thing I wanted for my birthday, and behold, I got it! I was bombarded with targeted ads on Instagram that have me believing this gum will solve all the world’s problems AND make me healthy, wealthy, and wise. Thank you, Matt!
5) Life Goes On
One of my favorite books that I read in the past twelve months was “Let Your Life Speak” by Parker J. Palmer, and in it, he encourages the reader to look at life through the illustration of seasons, saying: “Nature does not always produce abundance…There are summers when flood or drought destroy the crops and threaten the lives and livelihood of those who work the fields. But nature normally takes us through a reliable cycle of scarcity and abundance in which times of deprivation foreshadow an eventual return to the bountiful fields.” It’s been helpful for me to look at various things in my life, and ask myself which season each thing is in. If one aspect of my career is busy and overwhelming, maybe it’s in a Summer season — but Fall will likely come. If there’s loss, it can be viewed as a Winter season — but just like nature, it’s likely that the loss of one thing is creating space for new life to sprout up in time. Just like the seasons: life goes on. This is a beautiful thing. And speaking of Parker J. Palmer…
6) Henri Nouwen and Parker J. Palmer
I can’t talk about the influential figures of my 30s without carving out some space for Henri Nouwen. I went through a huge spiritual shift in my mid-30s, and the writings of Henri Nouwen were like a cold glass of water as I was wandered through the desert during that time. I’ve attached Parker J. Palmer to this item of The Good Ten™️ because they were friends, and Parker really looked up to Henri. Also, I have exchanged emails with Parker because I needed to get his permission in order to release my song, “Welcome Home”, which is based on a poem he wrote. My connection to Parker J. Palmer (which was likely tiny and forgettable to him) feels so precious to me; and the fact that he knew Henri Nouwen personally… it almost makes it feel like I get to have a tiny connection with Henri Nouwen. I know it’s a stretch; but it’s my birthday, and I’ll stretch if I want to!
7) Daily Walks
This needs no further explanation. The habit of going for a walk every day — all year round — has been so anchoring for my body and soul throughout my 30s. This will continue into my 40s, no doubt.
8) Morning Pages
Speaking of habits that have been anchoring for my soul: morning pages! If you’re not familiar, Google “Morning Pages Julia Cameron” or “Morning Pages The Artist’s Way” and that will lead you in the right direction. I cheat a little bit and I do them on my laptop. Each day, once I’ve finished writing my three pages, I select-all, then delete everything I’d just written. This helps me to be more honest, and it helps me to let thoughts flow more freely.
9) Songwriting
It was in my late 20s that I decided I should put disciplined, intentional effort into songwriting. Back then, I played piano, and kind of played the mandolin, so I wrote on those two instruments. In fact, this is why I decided to learn how to play the guitar — it’s so much better for songwriting. I don’t know how many songs I wrote in my 30s; my guess is around 200. I hope to write at least that many in my 40s.
10) Have a Good Soundtrack
What song was in your head when you started your new job? What was your go-to song when you went through that breakup? I love it when music weaves its way into the fabric and narrative of our lives. My advice would be to always put a little effort into curating a nice soundtrack for your life. Switch it up every month or two. Doesn’t need to be a playlist — just find music you like and listen to it regularly. Speaking of which, I have made two playlists: one is a list of 40 songs, where each one was a go-to song for me at some point in my 30s; the other is a list of 40 songs that comprise the soundtrack for my life right now: it’s mostly new songs, but there are some old skeets in there too. The former is called “40x30s”, and the latter is called “40@40”. Listen now:
Thank You!
Thank you for reading this and thank you for your interest in the process of me aging. Now you know how old I am, and please, please, don’t hold it against me.