Organic and Living
I released my song, “People Change” two weeks ago. If you haven’t listened to the song yet, you should! (Also, why are you reading my blog if you’re not listening to my music? That’s kind of weird. My music is better than my blog, come on!) There’s also a music video — featuring the videography of my husband, Matt Crummy — so you should watch that, too.
Photo by Liz Brown
I wrote “People Change” back in 2021, after having a conversation with my friend, Chelsie, via Marco Polo. She said something that resonated with me so deeply that I dictated it into my Notes app:
“It’s hard when relationships change, but it’s extra hard when it feels like the relationship is changing because you’re not being accepted for the ways that you’re growing; and that even sometimes those ways of growing are misunderstood and turned into something that feels like it’s being interpreted as wrong or bad.”
In the last few years, I have experienced more relational change than I ever have before in my life. Almost every single one of my relationships has undergone a profound change since 2021 — some relationships have changed to become closer, and many more have done the opposite. But what Chelsie said here helped me to frame my pain in a new way: yes, I feel misunderstood, and yes it hurts that these relationships are changing, but this is happening because of the fundamental truth that people are always growing, and therefore always changing. So, while I hope to never have so many of my relationships change all at once ever again, it is important to keep in mind that I will likely encounter this principle again in the future. And while it can be painful to experience, it is also evidence of life.
Screen grab from the “People Change” music video
Life is not a stagnant thing. Look under a microscope and see evidence of microbial life through movement. Living creatures move. Our cells replicate. Our bodies vary slightly from day to day based on how many potato chips we eat, how many calories we burn, whether or not we take our prescribed medications, whether we drink enough water, or a host of other variables.
It’s simple to see how this is true of our physical bodies, but we all know that this is true of our rational selves as well. As humans, we each hold convictions and values. And as we move through life, we take in news stories, we have conversations, we research things that interest us, we learn new facts, we witness cautionary tales, we are asked questions that throw us for a loop, etc. We are constantly processing information and making decisions about how to best move forward through the lens of our values and convictions. These decisions we’re making have implications on what our lives look like from day to day. Since there are thousands of variables influencing our decisions, and since no two people seem to hold the exact same set of values and convictions, we will often change in ways that are different from the people around us.
“Our connection is shifting
Organic and living
These types of things bend and pull”
When I listen back to this song, I almost feel like it sounds like I’m whining about how other people around me have changed. But actually, a lot of the lyrics of this song were inspired by thinking about what it might be like for someone to watch as I’m changing. I’ve changed a lot in the last few years, and honestly, I’m very happy about that! But I recognize and can empathize that these same changes might be experienced by someone else primarily as a loss.
People change. And this is okay! This is life! But also, it can be hard.
If you resonated with any of these sentiments, I hope that you will receive this song as a space to allow yourself to swim in whatever feelings bubble up inside you, even if only for 4 minutes and 43 seconds.
Photo by Liz Brown